WHERE BOYS TURN GENTLEMEN.....

Family reunion… Destination… Alma mater…National Defence Academy Pune. 

This was no ordinary reunion. The boys who turned gentlemen years ago could stay in their cadet cabins with their wives to relive their days and go down memory lane. The giddy enthusiasm on the faces of these fifty-plus men was evidently visible as  they were cadets once again. 

The trip from the Airport to the Academy seemed forever for my husband, and the moment our cab landed at the Squadron gate, his buddies in the near vicinity rushed to the car to help us unload our stuff to join them for the first reunion lunch. There were serving Lt Generals on this trip who did not bat an eyelid to pick up a suitcase to carefully deposit it inside the squadron, while the taxi driver was  astonished by the excited voice of greetings around the place. The architectural elegance of these imposing buildings created a perfect backdrop to this reunion. 

Course mates is a tribe that defies definition and does not wane or wax with time as the time spent in rigorous training seals the bond forever. Grandfather retired from the services, and a serving grandson will have the same josh meeting a course mate. The commitment, chivalry, and camaraderie are incomparable, as they are forever friends regardless of the circumstances. They may meet infrequently, but a warm hug with an academy nickname melts away the time. For this band of brothers, responsible army men who risk their lives to protect their motherland, rank has no meaning when they are with their buddies. 

Time  flew by during the lunch, and all you could hear were laughs and greetings. There is a parallel fraternity of wives that has come into being over the years of interacting with each other who were looking for familiar faces, exchanging greetings, and catching up on the happenings in each other's lives. Post lunch, we visited NDA in their buses which took us to Peacock Bay, the Equestrian training area, and many other places while we heard live commentary from the gentlemen who had turned cadets for this trip. 

The spirit of not giving up on these men in the forces was displayed here. My phone slipped and fell in Peacock Bay, the diver retrieved it from the muddy water, and astonishingly in working condition. Of course, it did not last after staying in the water which is another story. 

The setup of cadet cabins in the Squadrons was a big surprise for us ladies. We were getting a chance to stay a fraction of the life of a cadet, and we loved it completely. The fun-filled evening and the laughter continued late in the night when we heard amazing stories from the horses' mouths. The icing on the cake was the sweet sound of the pipers walking through the corridors to wake us up in the morning, and we felt like royalty, nothing less than the Queen.

Royal breakfast at the Cadet Mess followed the wreath laying and paying homage to the brave hearts at the sacred Hut of Remembrance, built by the cadets, commemorating the sacrifices of all those alumni who laid down their lives for the motherland. The sanctity of this place is well maintained, which is felt by the peace and calm around it. Later, we visited  the historic Sudan Block, an iconic image of the Academy, and we watched the screening of the Course Movie. The brave wives of the brother officers who are no longer amongst us agreed to be with us on this get-together and were honoured in memory of their gallant husbands.

The highlight at tea time was the quintessential cold coffee of the NDA. No one was interested in eating as they all vied for the stall of cold coffee. An informal lunch at the picturesque Peacock Bay gave us an occasion to relax, catch up with old friends and forge new friendships. The vast expanse of Khadakwasla Lake was the ideal setting. Going for a walk post lunch to the Gole Market and hearing  the stories was a treat and rest was not on our minds.

Chatting over cups of coffee and then rushing from one event to the other along with these giddy young cadets, time just flew by, and it was time for the  dinner  in the cadet mess. An immense opportunity for us where musical evening continued so late that the jazz band in charge felt entertained when he had come to entertain us. The highlight of the lavish sit-down dinner was The Tipsy Pudding of the Cadet Mess, which none of them will miss for anything, and no one can make it better than this place. 

They say whatever is done in the forces is practised to perfection. The farewell breakfast was a lavish affair around the beautiful greens of the Golf course. A perfect send-off for this trip as we carried a bag full of memories of this unique experience. 

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                 KHUSHBOO AUR YAADEIN

The fragrance of Ponds cream evokes childhood memories, and I visualise my mom applying it on my face in winter, a comforting blanket of mother’s love.  The stress of the day just withers away, and there is a sense of calm. Smells echo comfort, safety bringing a sense of security and solace into one’s life. Miti ki Khushboo after the first rain in summer can bring a smile to any stressed person. Smell and memory have a link with the amygdala, the emotional centre of the brain. It is hard-wired to memory, and nothing can bring back a memory like the familiar fragrance as the strong sense of smell is associated with well-being. 

The anatomy of the brain, allows olfactory signals to get to the limbic system very quickly so that is why smell and memory are closely linked. The Proust effect studies the exceptional ability of scents to trigger memories and how close is the olfactory processing system to memory in the brain. The nostalgic fragrant memories knock on the door of childhood memories. Fragrances of our childhood are our anchor of happiness when the going gets tough in life. The sweet aroma of kheer produces a déjà vu of my grandmother’s kitchen, and I lose myself in her memories.

The smell of the crackers burning can take you back to carefree childhood days while bringing the fervour of festival time of Diwali. Whenever I bake a cake, the atmosphere brings back the laughter of my friends from my youth. You go on a time travel with the nostalgia of fragrances. The aromatic carpet of pristine white Har Singar takes me back to where I discovered them first and fell in love with those flowers and I relive the joy of those days. 

While older people may find joy in the fragrance of pine or freshly baked bread, the millennials may find a connection with the whiff of freshly brewed coffee. Our growing up years and the atmosphere affects which fragrances bring nostalgia unique to each of us. The smell of fresh-cut grass or old books will bring in nostalgic memories for people who like reading books or love being in nature.

The aroma of food is the smell of home triggering a sense of comfort in anyone. The smell of chalk or the crayon takes us to a happy-go -lucky time in the classrooms, while the salty smell of the sea takes one to the seaside trips and how freshly sun-dried linen is so refreshing. One of the happiest scents for anyone is the fragrance of a baby. 

Pleasant memories can improve mood and reduce stress which is good for our mental health.  It fosters greater  confidence and enhances creativity. An early detection of Alzheimer’s disease through the diminishing sense of smell can help to start the treatment earlier. An olfactory recall is incredible, as small airborne molecules are so powerful to impact our feelings and spark a flood of reminiscences.

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 Are we depriving our children their future?

Who would have foreseen buying drinking water thirty years ago? Now imagine a situation thirty years into the future…acute water scarcity, sparse jungles, and oxygen booths. This can perhaps become a reality if the climate crisis is not averted. 

Mother Nature feels eroded and wounded by the colossal damage. Soaring temperatures, fires, floods, rising sea levels, and dissipating polar ice are evident enough. Is this what we are leaving for our children, and do we want our children to starve in the future?  The Covid 19 is a wake-up call. Global heating is a reality, and the UN climate report terms it irreversible. A meaningful commitment backed by action is the mainstay. 

Nearer home, the effects of climate change are in front of us.  IT hub Bengaluru was inundated after the relentless rain and the rampant urbanisation with receded drainage space and decreased  green cover is a  case of environmental destruction. Why not work towards the irreversible and inevitable climate change so that future generations have enough resources for survival? Climate change is turning into a crisis and we, as individuals, can do our bit to make a difference. At the societal level, in housing societies, RWAs can work with people to reduce carbon footprints. You can contribute by using clean green energy, consuming wisely, eating plant-based local food, and protecting the green spaces. 

It is normal to get tempted with the dress in the shop window even though we know that our cupboards are overflowing with stuff. But when one is mindful of climatic disruption, one will pause and reflect and go back empty-handed but content that one is reducing the carbon footprints. 

Religion binds individuals and can help motivate them to conserve our natural resources to reduce carbon footprint levels. When we sensitise children about the environment at an early age, they grow up being responsible adults protecting it. Reducing  the  use of paper and wood, and eating vegetarian food are steps toward conservation at the individual level to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Why not contribute towards protecting the environment by taking our children for a holiday to a nearby place instead of far-off exotic places as we aim to spend quality time together as a family? 

“The greatness of humanity is not in being human, but in being humane." – Mahatma Gandhi”

When we plant trees in our areas, we contribute towards building a forest cover as trees absorb 10% of the CO2 emitted in a year. By using greener energies, we reduce the impact of climate change considerably, even at the individual level. 

Gen Z or the millennials are not waiting for the older generation to take action, instead are working towards averting the climate crisis and saving the planet from choking. They are going  a step further by  spreading awareness through varied social media platforms. 

The window of action is all we have now which can either take us away or closer to a healthier environment.

 “What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” Jane Goodall

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                                                     GRATITUDE

                   Cooking a Delightful Meal

Is cooking an art or a task for you; does it give you stress or take away your blues? For me, the process of cleaning, chopping, and cooking food is a soulful refuge. The aroma of piping hot Gajjar ka Halwa simmering on a slow flame, cooked by my grandmother, is still fresh in my memory. When you cook with unfussy ingredients and add a sprinkle of love, you carve out delicacies for all to savour. Our vast culture offers us countless recipes, and the unlimited reservoir of online tutorials adds to it. Food is part of the narrative of our upbringing, our travels, and our escapades. 

I cooked sporadically for pleasure but took delight in the traditional food. Non-fussy food cooked with love by my mother and grandmother turned it extraordinary, the flavours staying forever on my palette, urging me to recreate them. I inherited the hunger for perfection and unconsciously imbibed it.

Some dishes, ordinary or exotic,  become our comfort foods and stay with us, and we recreate those dishes repeatedly. People can sniff and find out whether food is fresh or stale, whether salt or sugar is exact. With the interplay between taste and smells, we can grasp and capture the sensation of medleys of foods. The aroma is essential as it can enhance salivation and appetite, whereas long exposure to food while cooking can kill hunger.

Unconsciously childhood choices are our guiding lights, so parents must cook healthy food with love to instil these habits in childhood.  They do not have to chase the fad diets when they grow up to keep fit as they will remain anchored in eating healthy.

Some cooks measure the exact ingredients, while others rely on their intuition to create a sumptuous meal. It is like writers some are intuitive others plan it fully. Both are happily producing delectable dishes for others to enjoy, cherish and make memories. 

Less is more when there is a hunger to create.  The manner of reverting to basics, and eating traditional, seasonal foods, has caught up as a trend. When you cook with fresh ingredients with the right intention, you will spruce up a delightful meal. We all need food for survival then why not pour our heart and soul into the recipe and produce a delicious dish?  A meal of dal rice or an omelette can become a luxurious treat if we are hundred percent there while cooking it. 

Prosperity and hard-pressed for time have changed the way we cook. The stretching of meals and depending on leftovers may ease our work, but there is no match to shopping and prepping the fresh ingredients to cook a delectable meal. 

The world is on our plate, and it is not a crime to experiment with exotic dishes. The millennials are trying avant-garde epicurean delicacies which are visible on many Instagram accounts. Cooking is a universal experience that brings people together, crossing the barriers of nations or cultures. 

As the Bharat Gas tagline goes Cook Food, Serve love…......

Bon Appétit.....

PICTURES CREDIT:  NATASHA NANDA and SANAH HANDA

                                                          GRATITUDE

               HEALING PAIN THE SPIRITUAL WAY 

An attack by the stray dogs resulted in a dog bite and a fractured wrist, and the trauma of the pain was unbearable for me. My daughter, without formal training, gave me positive energy to ease my pain, and I felt good enough to endure the treatment.  This incident may not have scientific backing, but it is healing. One cannot ignore the existence of spiritual experiences.  Prayers, faith, concern, and trust can move mountains, and it is possible to heal oneself and help others through myriad  forms  to improve the fabric of life.

Since pain is a complex phenomenon relating the physical to the psychological, physicians in some places have started including spiritual histories in patients' charts and some medical schools have added spirituality in the students' curriculum and studies are being conducted to establish the link. Across the world, traditional healing practices cured people in ancient times. With the advancement of science and medical research, their numbers may have gone down but relevance stays and now there is an effort to connect the two. If we can combine the two, it will be an integrated holistic approach for our overall well-being.

To manage my pain in the broken bone due to my allergy to painkillers, I typed traditional healers near me on Google, and viola there was a long list showing the popularity of these alternate methods. Thanks to the Internet revolution spirituality is no longer in the realms of yogis or you do not have to go into the deep forests of the Amazon to gain knowledge. We have realised its importance in our well-being and syncing mind, body, and spirit. There is a lower risk of anxiety, depression, and a sense of high self-esteem in deeply spiritual people. Mindful meditation did reduce my pain and helped me cope with the injury and deal with the discomfort thereby reducing my stress levels.

A sense of discipline, dedication, self-control, and commitment are essential to go on the path of spirituality to heal from the pain. Spiritual elements make us understand suffering and help us find purpose and give us hope when we feel disillusioned in illness. The easy access, cost-effectiveness, and effectiveness of traditional healing in recovery from a disease need to be taken into consideration to understand it fully. 

Many patients with schizophrenia felt that spirituality helped in the recovery process. It often involves a sense of belonging and connectedness which is essential for healing. Apart from finding a purpose, forgiveness comes from spirituality.

Spiritual beliefs may not cure illness but may help us deal with it and feel better. It helps one cope with pain more effectively by giving meaning to life in difficult times and providing a sense of purpose in life. On the end of the spectrum, it also makes palliative care easier. My father, turned spiritual while dealing with fourth-stage aggressive cancer. I am sure it must have eased his suffering.

Empirical evidence, the results of various studies, and practical individual experiences point out to the harmonious link between medicine and spirituality can make the recovery process easier and faster. We rise above the feeling of hopelessness in sickness as we gain strength from nurturing our spirituality. 

Pictures credit: Google 

              BE ALL EARS……….

You reach out to your friend and talk about your job problem, and she starts talking about something entirely different. Does this sound familiar? Do you ever feel that the person is preoccupied?  Effective communication begins with listening with a clear intention. When you feel distant or distracted, take a deep breath and redirect your attention. When you are mindful, you hone your listening abilities. 

We are lost in our digital bubbles and have no time for others, even when we make an effort, a constant distraction from technology takes over, and we miss out on good associations. When a person share one’s thoughts, he is giving a piece of you but we do not have the time to sit and talk, tell stories. Listening carefully and purposefully without  interrupting the other person is the need of the hour as the high tech communication has made interactions intrusive, taken the helm over by text messages and emojis. 

If someone wants to remove their stumbling blocks or share their accomplishments, feel fortunate and give them a patient ear. An avid listener is a guiding force, a sounding board, and a therapist for a friend. To take it further, gently ask questions while hanging on to the person’s words and giving undivided attention. When we lend an ear, we pave an inroad to non-verbal communication, an effective gateway to understanding. Never hijack the conversation, enter their world, and be compassionate and genuinely interested in the person by attempting to understand the point of view of the other person. Listening is more important than talking as we have two ears and one mouth. 

Have you ever visited old people living by themselves and see how  eagerly they are looking for someone to listen to them?  It is not only them we all love the vibes of a good conversation and a desire to be understood. When you listen profoundly with curiosity, it makes a conversation delightful. When you strive to be in the moment and not drift away in contemplation, it reinforces your ability to be in the spirit of receptivity. The moment you pay attention, the speaker will soften and connect better. The body language,  facial expressions,  eye contact, and verbal responses encourage or discourage the speaker. An atmosphere without interruptions is effective for communication and understanding. 

Like any other skill, practice will make us perfect, and we learn along the way, increasing our understanding of the world around us. Lack of it is making us intolerant and isolated so we need to put aside our ego and really listen. Non-defensive attitude, whether you agree with the speaker’s point of view or not, will take the dialogue further. Be mindful while talking, well aware of the purpose, and concerned about the listener’s capability and interest to make the conversation delightful. It is the art of being a good human who has a genuine interest in the other person. 

Communication experts believe that one needs to engage in a dialogue, not a monologue. Be clear about what you want from the conversation and do keep in mind the interest of the listener. Empathy and compassion are handy tools when we are on either side of the conversation.

Pictures from Google and Pinterest

 LET THE MUSIC PLAY…..

Music is my life, music is my soul

Music keeps me happy, music keeps me whole

                                             Rapper Donovon Jenson

Music is magic that touches every heart and penetrates every soul. When words fail, music speaks. The connection has no barriers of a language, transcending time and space. When sorrow hits you, put on your favourite melody, turn up the volume, and let it turn over your soul. We all have one song which triggers an emotional response bringing a smile to our face or a tear in our eyes.

We have come a long way from recording songs to a touch of a button which brings our choice at any place or anytime. Of course, that era had its charm, while online streaming is interesting too.

Music stimulates the mind, is pleasing to the ears, and nurtures the soul. Do not you feel that sometimes the lyrics of a song are written just for you? You feel motivated and encouraged to move forward in life after hearing inspiring songs. The national anthem or a school prayer invokes fervor of patriotism like nothing else.

The music of Mozart and Beethoven lulled my infant daughter to a peaceful sleep for hours together, gaining sensitivity and a musical ear along the way. Melody may not cure us, but it has therapeutic potential.

The fatigue of a long and tiring commute goes away with good soothing music, and we experience a sense of awe and admiration after hearing our preferred music. One song brings back a flood of memories to drown your soul, and you come out refreshed after the soulful bath. A lullaby sung by a mother can put a cranky baby into a deep slumber. Music is a friend for teenagers uplifting their blues away while they bond with their tribe. It can be a bridge connecting children with their elders. Having a similar taste in music with someone is a soul connection.

A carefully curated playlist added to your morning routine can kickstart the day well. Science proves that oxytocin( bonding hormone) levels increase when we sing in a group. Music is a safe and noninvasive intervention post-surgery, as many studies indicate that it reduces pain. It releases opioids, the natural pain killers in the brain. Numerous studies reinforce that it is hardwired in our brains and has a calming effect on our beings, a feasible treatment for depression too. The condition of patients with Alzheimer’s disease improves when they listen to music.

Music has the power to unite something significant and beyond ourselves. You hear the song of the Supreme Being in meditation in the form of Anhad Naad, the primordial sound.  “Last night, in the silence which pervaded the darkness, I stood alone and heard the voice of the singer of eternal melodies. When I went to sleep I closed my eyes with this last thought in my mind, that even when I remain unconscious in slumber the dance of life will still go on in the hushed arena of my sleeping body, keeping step with the stars. The heart will throb, the blood will leap in the veins, and the millions of living atoms of my body will vibrate in tune with the note of the harp-string that thrills at the touch of the master,” expresses Rabindra Nath Tagore beautifully. 

Choose your way, listen to instrumental music, or play an instrument. You can get nostalgic or sing a song to feel a rush of joy emanating from each pore. Music is a piece of art that goes straight to the heart via the ears. So.....

Geet gata hoon main, gungunata hoon main

Maine hasne ka vaada kiya tha kabhi

Isliye ab sada muskurata hoon main 

Isliye ab sada muskurata hoon main 

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