RADIATE HOPE AND HEALING......THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Waiting to hug my staying-alone mom, not just smile from two meters appears distant yet precious. Remaining quarantined is the norm these days and emerging out improbable. The persistent distress and doubt are keeping us on alert 24/7. We are all into this and have to endure till the planet heals completely. Caution now, comfort later.

Our frontline health warriors are endangering their lives for our safety. It is exhausting living in claustrophobic PPE suits for extended hours with the sword of the virus hanging on their heads. They are enduring dehydration and fatigue in their fight against the virus. By staying away from their families, they are keeping ours safe. Showing integrity in obeying coronavirus protocol, we are contributing towards the fight against the virus war.

The long-term impact of the pandemic is transforming our lives, and it is here to stay for a lengthier period. Our way of living, learning,  work,  relationships, and old norms are changed. Constant distress and fear are depleting our rationality, and people are engaging in vexatious banter on social media. We can support the suffering people in whatever ways probable instead of engaging in mudslinging.

The ambiguity about the disease, exasperation, disconnection from the loved ones is leading to self-loathing. When we see suffering all around, it is not easy to negotiate emotions of guilt and grief in these unprecedented times. The slowdown of the economy, loss of jobs, a setback in the education system are causes of disturbance. Children are anxious and feel alienated by the restrictions on social interactions. In such moments, we need to be thankful that we can breathe the fresh air, see the sunrise. Our resilience for survival, solidarity, humanitarian activities  sail us through. However long the night, the dawn will break to wade us through the pandemic waters.

Oxygen cyclinders  carrying truck gets applause from the passerby on the road for helping people in need. Sikh philanthropists are organising ‘Oxygen Langars’ to lessen the distress of the people. Through the spirit of togetherness, we can contribute by sending food to covid affected families or just enquiring about the well-being and be their healers. Alternative healing methods like reiki are the need of the hour.

Time never stands; the way you spend matters. Consciously being in nature diminishes anxiety and enhances the creative flow. Artistic expression and meaningful reflection are vital in times of overwhelming suffering. Even during the last pandemic, art came to the rescue of people. Maintaining a journal in difficult times helps as your true soul will become your guiding force. Meditation and mindfulness diminish fear and anxiety and bring in tranquillity.

We cannot perceive the light at the end of the tunnel, but we will emerge fighting fit. In these times of fear and anxiety, there is always hope that this too shall pass. Thich Nhat Hang rightly says, ‘Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.’ 

Images from Google

 THE FOUR-LEGGED THERAPIST

Do you fancy an alleyway to a forever Happy land? Just welcome a four-legged baby in your home. The selfless and complete love will permeate your being with a splash of vivid hues.

Bruno, the protector therapist, came into our family, grew to be the centre of our universe. One glance at his tender eyes took all our weariness away. The sound of tiny paws following me all the time gave a sense of warmth and companionship. He lived up to his name for my daughter, always protecting her from our scoldings. He disliked noisy arguments and showed his displeasure by walking out of the house. So in his silence, there was a lesson for us. The sight of a wagging tail and a tender hug helped my father-in-law recover twice from bouts of severe Parkinson's disease.

The solid and constant camaraderie of a fur baby is Godsend in challenging times.  He helped us steer away from any stress or anxiety, and of course, he was thrilled to have his entire pack home 24/7.

Extensive research recognises the therapeutic benefit of pets. In their company, children learn to be responsible and compassionate. Reading to dogs boosts self-esteem in children who struggle to read aloud in class. He is a non-judgmental listener who will never get annoyed. Their love creates a magical calming effect in the environment, releasing the happy hormones, endorphins. For the people suffering in the dark, the pet therapist is their light at the end of the tunnel. They feel a tangible uplift, a reason to live and smile. 

Animal therapy helps to develop problem-solving skills, empathy, and a sense of responsibility. In hospitals, patients' eyes brighten up at the sight of a therapy dog. Dog visits can reduce blood pressure, ease loneliness and grief. They are the lifeline for socially isolated people. 

While taking care of my earlier pet, I did not realise when I graduated from slowly walking to running and playing with her after a  leg injury. My little therapist helped me recover faster with her affection and attention.

A stroll around the neighbourhood, frolicking in the garden with the fur baby, the dopamine and serotonin surge will keep you away from the stress and strain of daily life. One of the immeasurable stress buster is having a dog curled up beside you; the serene and loving eyes create a sense of well-being and togetherness. They offer a paw to lean on, and when they go, part of you goes with them. One must relish every moment with them as they have a short life. The pet is part of the family, a loyal companion, and a therapist. 

Our lifeline departed two months ago; life is no longer the same. Unwinding in the garden is incomplete without him. Our family car, his secure den, turned out his last resting place before the burial. The sight of his grave full of flowers gives us a flash of joy. It seems, even in his passing, he is showering happiness. As part of our healing, we play with his friends while out walking. When you lose a pet therapist, others reach out. Of course, till the time we get another pup home. 

Pets are for a lifetime. You take responsibility for their care and get a bag full of contentment. A wet nose and a furry face can make anyone smile.

                                                 JOURNAL THERAPY 

You arise in the morning, recalling the dream to mark an entry in your diary. Upon rising, scribbling on the paper helps conserve the creative flow brewing while you were sleeping and before your ego’s defences are in place. Recording your thoughts outside your head clears the storage, resulting in a clear mind. As teenagers, many of us had personal diaries, scribbling our angst on paper. Prominent visionaries like Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Winston Churchill, Charles Darwin, Francis Bacon devoted their valuable time chronicling their thoughts. Traditionally the domain of philosophers, thinkers, it may appear an archaic pastime in current times. Journaling has come back in a big way for people who value it for self-care and improvement. This cathartic exercise boosts brain development and retention.

Many  people reject diary writing, as the idea of penetrating the expanses of  intellect and spilling it on paper makes them squirm. However, our mind is a surprising place where we need to knock hard to discover the treasures and be in the zone. So it is not only life-changing but is life expanding, stimulating the brain’s highest cognition. Sometimes only the paper will listen to you. “Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” William Wordsworth

In pandemic times, are you looking for a way to be stress-free or understand yourself better? Journaling is the answer which is healing, helping you deal with your thoughts or emotions. It is a simple form of psychotherapy.

Numerous studies have confirmed that chronicling boosts immunity, lowers stress levels. It reduces the impact of stressors by giving structure to your anxious feelings and helping you go past them. Your boss has run you down, or your husband/ wife starts yelling out of the blue. Writing your emotions clarifies your thoughts, helps you resolve the issue, reducing your distress. You earn some space from the incidents, thereby gaining insights in a new way.

 When you write, you immerse in that world and slow down, setting the filtering, retaining process in motion. Chronicling  traumatic or disturbing experiences has the most measurable impact on our well-being. “Journaling is paying attention to the inside for the purpose of living well from the inside out.” Rightly emphasises Lee Wise. 

Genuine gratitude journaling done in the morning  reverberates into the day, setting off a domino effect of optimism. Recording grateful thoughts at bedtime redirect your mind from dark thoughts that keep you up. This simple habit can improve your sleep. The added advantage is that it  keeps one away from over-exposure to social media. At times, we are not even aware of why we got there.

For students, reflective writing reinforces learning by enhancing the intake of information and processing through regular writing. Decision-making skills and critical thinking aids insights for future challenges.  

Start by thinking small, which is not too overwhelming. Old fashioned pen and paper are the best, recording digitally is good enough. Consistency is the key.

Write a morning journal or a gratitude journal; take your pick. My journal writing helps me connect with my spiritual self and sets the creative juices flowing. Even if I start writing in a distressed mood, writing insights shift my mind towards gratitude in a subtle way. When I transform the emotions invading my head on paper, my mental deck gets cleared, eliminating any distressing sensations leading to self-discovery. I end up feeling in control, stable, fruitful, and comfortable for the day ahead.  “I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” Anne Frank

                            GRATITUDE 

                         WE ARE MASKED

Your car stops at the intersection on a congested road, a young boy taps on the pane begging for money. Instead, he gets a mask which he accepts with a grin, and puts it on immediately. A year ago, the same child would have been baffled at the sight of a surgical mask.

Face masks are omnipresent since the beginning of the pandemic, a representative of Corona Times. Along with safety and necessity, a symbol of fear and anxiety. Colorful muzzled humans are here, a long way from de muzzling. The invisible virus transmitted through the air in water droplets from infected humans will take time to go.

The Coronavirus has altered the face of the world. We have no alternative; for our protection and the safety of others, masks are mandatory. Donning masks or not using them reveals our perspective and preferences in life. There is a risk of skin problems due to continuous wearing, and maskne is the new acne currently. For doctors and health workers, it is part of their uniform now. It is inconvenient roaming masked all the time.

Masks are prominent on the streets, in the internet advertisements, in selfies, are an accessory now. We have transformed into masked fashionistas. There is a little mystery, a little veiled identity, encompassing unattractive flaws. 

Surgical face masks emerged to prevent infections in the late nineteenth century. The last pandemic understood its importance, and as the prevailing pandemic is sweeping the globe, we realize its necessity. From operating tables to safeguard against smog to the pandemics, masks have stayed.

 

 We ascribe a lot of importance to a facial expression, so concealing a part can be unsettling and alienating, a barrier that can rebuke the onlookers. We need to devise new ways to interact, and gestures are a convenient medium of expression. Pulling a mask on the road is a sign of respect, sacrificing some freedom for the public good. It is a bright spot in the otherwise bleak times. When we step out without a mask, we feel like a batman without his Bat-suit. In the new normal, we feel comfortable with masked humans on the street. 

Impeccable eye makeup is paramount, while lipsticks are for zoom meetings as all points south of the eyes are in the mask. It is just a relief to have it off of our faces when we get back home. And so lipstick endures, if only for the benefit of family members, Zoom colleagues, and Instagram followers.

 

 By tradition, we viewed masked humans with mistrust, but the story has turned the other way now. Masks are crucial devices and will be around fogging our glasses. We need to mask up and follow coronavirus courtesies, not as chin covers or dashboard accessories. Most face-to-face communications are on hold till the time pandemic stays. It is better to endure the times as no one feels slighted without a handshake. Unflinching commitment and not feeling overwhelmed or perplexed will get us through these difficult times. 

Images: Pinterest

                                     GRATITUDE   

                  

           KNIT HAPPINESS WITH EMOTIONS

 

 The space between the two ears defines our relationship with ourselves and the world around us. From national to international relations, conflicts; everything is a play of minds. In our everyday moments, dealing with people and their sentiments is connected with emotional intelligence. Strangely, the emotional quotient was deemed pointless and was left to impulse and intuition. Our environment used to see these as too minute and stopped us from addressing these emotional knots. In modern times, we have acknowledged the significance to harness it to our advantage. Understanding emotions becomes all the more relevant in the technological age where tasks are mechanical and automated. 

 

Emotional intelligence is an awareness of your actions and feelings – and how they affect those around you. It is the key to relating well to others and achieving your goals. It also means that you value others, listen to their problems, and can empathize with them. We can identify, introspect, and communicate with poise and clarity, to the rarely critical instants in our life. Such an individual is highly conscious of his emotional state, can identify and manage it.

 

 Emotional quotient or EQ has earned wide acceptance at the workplace as employers have incorporated it in the interview processes. From a formal relation to a personal empathetic one, the boundaries are blurring resulting in innovative employees, higher job satisfaction and increased productivity.

 

Our faculty to recognize, discriminates between diverse feelings, manage, problem-solving, and enhance relationships helps us in our everyday dealings. With social awareness, you learn to perceive other’s sentiments and discern their responses in a given circumstance and react consequently. Emotional regulation does not imply constricting or repressing sentiments but to endure them as they shape our words and actions. The contained emotions are illnesses in incubation so the ticking bomb should be addressed instead of avoiding it. When we lose our clarity of emotions and the panic causes tunnel vision, calmness clears our emotions and thoughts. Our mind is like a garden and we can decide which seeds to plant. The seeds of calm and restraint will bestow us with a finer fruit. Compassion towards oneself and others too aids in making us emotionally healthy.  “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution,” expresses Khalil Gibran

 

For children, understanding emotional empathy should start in childhood. For an emotionally healthy childhood, conceive an empathetic atmosphere for children where we are not overly enthusiastic about accomplishments in life. There should not be any singular scenario the child has to conform to be loved. They must know that things that break can be fixed, plans can go awry, fresh ones can be created. You can fall over and start anew.

 

For example, your teenager comes home from school in a snappy mood. Instead of reacting, you can respond by finding out about her day in school. Slowly you will find out that she was disturbed about the behaviour of the classmates in a new school. You can reason out and help find solutions to her problems. Children should grow in an ambience where they can communicate themselves free of judgment and criticism. Plato rightly says, “All learning has an emotional base”.

 

We are born with an IQ; EQ can be developed as we move on in life. On can learn to cultivate EQ by being self-aware, have empathy, self-regulation, motivation, and enhancing social skills. These can be achieved by knowing your strength, being grateful, mindful, and strengthening positive memories. When you are self-aware, you can regulate your emotions effectively. Empathy helps you connect better with people as it is the doorway to basic human interaction. Motivation and optimism take you on the path of resilience. When you are conscious of your emotions and the reaction they trigger, you can learn to manage them to your advantage. Individuals with a high emotional quotient are confident, better decision-makers, build stronger relationships, can diffuse conflicts and communicate effectively.   “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie

Be able to identify, understand and manage the emotions in positive constructive ways thereby building an emotionally healthy world. MESS (Motivation, Empathy, Self-awareness and Social Skills) can keep us out of the real mess in our lives and on to the path of an emotionally balanced life.

 

Images from Google