BE ALL EARS……….

You reach out to your friend and talk about your job problem, and she starts talking about something entirely different. Does this sound familiar? Do you ever feel that the person is preoccupied?  Effective communication begins with listening with a clear intention. When you feel distant or distracted, take a deep breath and redirect your attention. When you are mindful, you hone your listening abilities. 

We are lost in our digital bubbles and have no time for others, even when we make an effort, a constant distraction from technology takes over, and we miss out on good associations. When a person share one’s thoughts, he is giving a piece of you but we do not have the time to sit and talk, tell stories. Listening carefully and purposefully without  interrupting the other person is the need of the hour as the high tech communication has made interactions intrusive, taken the helm over by text messages and emojis. 

If someone wants to remove their stumbling blocks or share their accomplishments, feel fortunate and give them a patient ear. An avid listener is a guiding force, a sounding board, and a therapist for a friend. To take it further, gently ask questions while hanging on to the person’s words and giving undivided attention. When we lend an ear, we pave an inroad to non-verbal communication, an effective gateway to understanding. Never hijack the conversation, enter their world, and be compassionate and genuinely interested in the person by attempting to understand the point of view of the other person. Listening is more important than talking as we have two ears and one mouth. 

Have you ever visited old people living by themselves and see how  eagerly they are looking for someone to listen to them?  It is not only them we all love the vibes of a good conversation and a desire to be understood. When you listen profoundly with curiosity, it makes a conversation delightful. When you strive to be in the moment and not drift away in contemplation, it reinforces your ability to be in the spirit of receptivity. The moment you pay attention, the speaker will soften and connect better. The body language,  facial expressions,  eye contact, and verbal responses encourage or discourage the speaker. An atmosphere without interruptions is effective for communication and understanding. 

Like any other skill, practice will make us perfect, and we learn along the way, increasing our understanding of the world around us. Lack of it is making us intolerant and isolated so we need to put aside our ego and really listen. Non-defensive attitude, whether you agree with the speaker’s point of view or not, will take the dialogue further. Be mindful while talking, well aware of the purpose, and concerned about the listener’s capability and interest to make the conversation delightful. It is the art of being a good human who has a genuine interest in the other person. 

Communication experts believe that one needs to engage in a dialogue, not a monologue. Be clear about what you want from the conversation and do keep in mind the interest of the listener. Empathy and compassion are handy tools when we are on either side of the conversation.

Pictures from Google and Pinterest

 LET THE MUSIC PLAY…..

Music is my life, music is my soul

Music keeps me happy, music keeps me whole

                                             Rapper Donovon Jenson

Music is magic that touches every heart and penetrates every soul. When words fail, music speaks. The connection has no barriers of a language, transcending time and space. When sorrow hits you, put on your favourite melody, turn up the volume, and let it turn over your soul. We all have one song which triggers an emotional response bringing a smile to our face or a tear in our eyes.

We have come a long way from recording songs to a touch of a button which brings our choice at any place or anytime. Of course, that era had its charm, while online streaming is interesting too.

Music stimulates the mind, is pleasing to the ears, and nurtures the soul. Do not you feel that sometimes the lyrics of a song are written just for you? You feel motivated and encouraged to move forward in life after hearing inspiring songs. The national anthem or a school prayer invokes fervor of patriotism like nothing else.

The music of Mozart and Beethoven lulled my infant daughter to a peaceful sleep for hours together, gaining sensitivity and a musical ear along the way. Melody may not cure us, but it has therapeutic potential.

The fatigue of a long and tiring commute goes away with good soothing music, and we experience a sense of awe and admiration after hearing our preferred music. One song brings back a flood of memories to drown your soul, and you come out refreshed after the soulful bath. A lullaby sung by a mother can put a cranky baby into a deep slumber. Music is a friend for teenagers uplifting their blues away while they bond with their tribe. It can be a bridge connecting children with their elders. Having a similar taste in music with someone is a soul connection.

A carefully curated playlist added to your morning routine can kickstart the day well. Science proves that oxytocin( bonding hormone) levels increase when we sing in a group. Music is a safe and noninvasive intervention post-surgery, as many studies indicate that it reduces pain. It releases opioids, the natural pain killers in the brain. Numerous studies reinforce that it is hardwired in our brains and has a calming effect on our beings, a feasible treatment for depression too. The condition of patients with Alzheimer’s disease improves when they listen to music.

Music has the power to unite something significant and beyond ourselves. You hear the song of the Supreme Being in meditation in the form of Anhad Naad, the primordial sound.  “Last night, in the silence which pervaded the darkness, I stood alone and heard the voice of the singer of eternal melodies. When I went to sleep I closed my eyes with this last thought in my mind, that even when I remain unconscious in slumber the dance of life will still go on in the hushed arena of my sleeping body, keeping step with the stars. The heart will throb, the blood will leap in the veins, and the millions of living atoms of my body will vibrate in tune with the note of the harp-string that thrills at the touch of the master,” expresses Rabindra Nath Tagore beautifully. 

Choose your way, listen to instrumental music, or play an instrument. You can get nostalgic or sing a song to feel a rush of joy emanating from each pore. Music is a piece of art that goes straight to the heart via the ears. So.....

Geet gata hoon main, gungunata hoon main

Maine hasne ka vaada kiya tha kabhi

Isliye ab sada muskurata hoon main 

Isliye ab sada muskurata hoon main 

Images: Google

                                          GRATITUDE

                                  NATURE'S BOUQUET

                              

 

                             DETOX THE DIGITAL HIGH

I open the Notes app on my phone while examining the battery levels for an uninterrupted scribble, a norm in the digital age. The ease of connectivity in the current times has altered human behaviour and upended all our lives. Technology should not deter us from being masters and employing it as a tool.

                    

Digital technology, human behaviour, and advancement are linked. Palm-sized gadgets are connecting the world while overuse is eroding our mental health. While digital devices have streamlined our life, we are turning into addicts. FOMO (fear of missing out), the paranoia of connection deters us from detox. The youngsters consistently live in the virtual world, and exposure to social media leads to anxiety, low self-esteem, and sleep deprivation.

Mindless scrolling is addictive, is reducing our attention span while working on a project or keeping updates on the news works to our advantage. The connection forged by digital technology breaks the cycle of a disadvantage when it reaches far-flung areas. You lose the essence of a trip in capturing it on the smartphone. The filtered images on social media reduce self-worth leading to anxiety and depression at a young age. Digital books are a revolution in the technological age; the charm of paper books will remain with those who like to hold, feel, and smell the book before they read it.

Screen time is debatable but when we, especially the children get lured in by the vastness of the internet and start living in the virtual world. Responsible use of technology with monitored content for children to keep them away from online predators and cyberbullying. They see a world beyond technology and it builds healthy relations within the family.

I remember once while traveling on a train, the couple opposite were glued to their respective mobiles and their toddler was constantly finding ways to distract them,  all he received was a slap reprimanding him to sleep. Parents who should have been telling stories before sleep were cocooned in the company of their phones. I am sure many of you witnessed similar sights.

Cutting down is a realistic approach in today’s fast pace forever-changing technological world. One can schedule time away from screens during the day and increase it further during the weekends. Turning off phones during rest time and periodic breaks with reduced apps seem to work well. One can create no phone areas in our home like the dining table and the bedroom. Detox the high of mindlessly scrolling in free time in the cosy comfort of our beds or binge-watching Netflix losing the tracks of time.

                            

When we unplug from gadgets we have more time to pursue our hobbies and learn new skills.  Excessive use can have unintended consequences, making us sleep-deprived and isolated as there is less time for socialisation. 

How ironic is that the apps on the phone are teaching us how to detox from the same very phone. In today’s times, it is unrealistic to isolate completely from our gadgets, customised usage according to our needs is the key. You need to abstain from the time-wasters and deep cleanse in the age of constant connectivity and instant gratification. We need unplugged weekends to get away from the soul-sucking gratification of smartphones and not down in the digital dopamine as reducing use is very difficult to keep up when it has turned addictive. 

A day without gadgets seems like a day with all the time in the world.

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                       How Harrowing is Omicron?

I woke up in the night with severe body ache and throat pain. It was not unnerving, but  I did reach for the oximeter with the looming thoughts of Covid. Pleased with the oxygen levels, I went back to sleep. Ultimately, all of us tested positive and had to isolate ourselves at home. We are out of it appreciating simplicity more than ever. The strength of friendship knocked on our door in the form of our neighbour. The lady went all out to bring us hot healthy meals at our doorstep to help us recover fast. It is a delight to sip hot soup in the foggy morning when you cannot gather strength even to sit up due to the breaking body aches. She is an inspiration who kept aside individuality to help the distressed.

When we were on the verge of normalcy, Omicron struck us like a sledgehammer, back to the peripheries of our homes. Skepticism and weariness have hit the world again. Omicron is disseminating like wildfire, nonetheless less severe. We cannot lose caution and wander about violating the Covid protocol, increasing the load and exposure to the health workers. I had first-hand experience with the selfless and devoted health workers who are Godsend healers providing care fully aware of the repercussions of the exposure of the virus. 

The forced disruptions of the last two years have made us reevaluate our life. The affinities with loved ones assumed precedence over material desires, proficient in health matters, we are tucking the right vitamins to stay afloat in pandemic times. Deep abdominal breathing alleviates anxiety and relaxes the muscles. Infusing some celebration in the mundane can be a pleasant break as prioritising health and happiness is more important than ever. Clear focus with a structured day keeps us calm too.

Our true character is laid bare during this struggling time. The profound change in our lives should not make us cynical, and we should look for hope, hope that it is over soon. The sense of uncertainty and exhaustion of the last two years has taken a toll on our mental health too. Economic struggle and hardships on many are back-breaking.

Some of the questions intruding our minds are, will the flu-like symptoms prevail, and will everyone contact it? Is this the beginning of the end of the pandemic? The transmission is less severe with vaccinations continuing to protect, while unvaccinated are at higher risk. We understand Covid and how to live with it, but it is not the endgame, as many people are still not vaccinated. We are still on a bumpy road, so we must gear with vaccination and work together to leave the virus out of the race. 

Since we cannot prevent infection, vaccination, mask, and social distancing is a way of life till the time floodwaters of the virus recede and ultimately diminish and evaporate. We have to work together to come out of it. Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director-General, World Health Organisation, points out, “As we enter the third year of this pandemic, I’m confident that this will be the year we end it – but only if we do it together.”    

Pictures from Google and Pinterest

                         COME HOME TO NATURE

What a delight it is to go for a stroll in nature and immerse in the sights, sounds, and smells of the green lungs. Well, that is Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) for you. In Japan, it is a cornerstone for prevention as well as healing. When you immerse in nature and savour it, the stress levels decline, and the immune system gets a push soothing the frayed nerves on the way. 

“The best way to deal with stress at work is to go for a forest bath. I go for shinrin-yoku every lunchtime. You don’t need a forest; any small green space will do. Leave your cup of coffee and your phone behind and just walk slowly. You don’t need to exercise, you just need to open your senses to nature. It will improve your mood, reduce tension and anxiety, and help you focus and concentrate for the rest of the day.” Dr. Qing Li, a pioneer and a president of the Japanese Science of Forest Medicine who has studied forest bathing for thirty years.

Our modern work and home environment stress us, and a walk amongst the pure air of the trees clear our heads from the information overload. The release of phytoncides, a plant antibiotic, from the trees lowers blood pressure, and the cortisol levels come down too. You return rejuvenated, the creative juices ready to be tapped. The greens radiate our chi and strengthen our nervous system.  Patients in hospitals exposed to greener views recover faster with fewer painkillers. 

Just take some time off to go for a walk, watch the penetrating sunlight playing hide and seek with the leaves, hear the bird song, feel the soft grass under your feet. Leave behind your camera or phone, wander and immerse in the experience. Do stop from time to observe the wonders of nature and observe how their behaviour change with your presence. 

If we introduce young children to nature, the bond is everlasting. They learn to care, protect and understand it better.

Meditating amongst the trees is nirvana. The experience lowers the stress and anxiety levels, washing off the fatigue of the busy life. In the depths of greenery, the heightened sensory awareness is the beginning of self-discovery. Walking mindfully around a park full of trees gives me a profound sense of peace, and I feel at home among the trees. 

In Japan, forest bathing is successful preventive health care that started way back in the 1980s has caught with the rest of the world though at a nascent stage in India. Years of research in Japan have found a reduction in stress, improvement in sleep leading to a healthy lifestyle. The effects are similar to meditation. 

Shortage of time in the daytime should not scare you to venture out in the dark. During an after-dinner walk in a nearby park where the air is full of earthy scent, the rustle of the leaves, and the wind caressing your face as you discover a new world at your doorstep. 

Pandemic has already shaken up our routines and has affected mental health. Just take a deep breath, drop your shoulders and enjoy the feeling of being outdoors to hear the whispers of our soul. Just sitting under the trees open the energy channels and makes you feel safe and peaceful, soothing the frayed nerves. The simple yet powerful experience has no goal but to see, hear, breathe and feel the wonders of nature. You will experience the ever-changing magic of the green if you have patience, curiosity, and a sense of wonder.

 

             AWAKEN THE SUBCONSCIOUS  

Have you ever wondered at the innate power of our inner realms? The rational conscious mind is remarkable. It has sensations, feelings, perceptions, the awareness of the self and the world around us. Well, this mind has a ‘Mind’ of its own, the Subconscious. Subconscious is full of magical mysteries and innovative brainpower. You require to awaken the innate power to derive its limitless potential.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, used the metaphor of the iceberg for human personality. The conscious mind is the ‘tip of the iceberg,’ the decision-maker. The bulk of the iceberg beneath the water represents the subconscious, the primary source of human behaviour. It is a storehouse of emotions, experiences, and memories. It is your internal programming that informs everything we do.

The subconscious mind processes, stores, and monitors the information around us. You can reprogram your thoughts with repetitive affirmations to your advantage. Whatever you plant and nourish in the inner realms becomes your reality. The flashes of insight fuel creativity that arises from the reservoirs of the innermost, a lot of writing comes from this source. One can train one’s subconscious mind to create what one seeks. One can improve our habits and get rid of our phobias. 

You need to observe your thoughts, focus upon empowering beliefs, show gratitude, and visualise positive outcomes. When you help others and surround yourself with positive people, you are giving power to the unconscious.

Thomas Edison, “Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.” When you sleep with requests to the inner realms, it works on them during the night to give you answers in the morning. The creative brain is most attuned in the morning. Do not be disheartened if you do not get your answer at one time; repeated requests will do wonders. Anyone doing creative work has experienced these visions. I get clear ideas about my creative writing during those moments. The problem-solving power of this mind is remarkable.  When you write in a journal in the morning, it solves many a puzzle of our life.

Mindful meditation has the potential to probe the inner realms, clarify your thoughts, and bring your focus to the desired goal. Many successful people have credited meditation as their technique for transformative ideas. Some even follow advanced meditative techniques before taking on a new project to tap their potential fully.

The source of creativity, inspiration, intuition, and spiritual awakening, directs one by being in sync with the conscious mind. When you think clearly, and your plans are constructive and harmonious, the charm of the unconscious responds in a similar agreeable way. It will help the subconscious mind to implement a positive pattern and change our conditioning. The conscious mind commands, and the underlying obeys. 

Conscious and subconscious work in tandem to produce the required outcome. It comes to your aid when you want to learn and relearn. Be cautious about what you manifest in the inner realms. Manifest healthy, meaningful existence to unleash the power of the subconscious mind.

                              

IMAGES: Pinterest and Google