POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

11 pm April 2020. 

My phone rang, and I was not startled. Well, this was a call from my school gang. We were excited to be teenagers again, letting our hair down and creating a commotion in the middle of the night. At times we get a sense of missing something but are not able to pinpoint it. Things fall in place when you have a long conversation like this to make your day. 

Friends are our chosen tribe, our shields from the harsh adversaries of the world. They are our go-to sounding boards, giving impartial advice. They share our distress and treat our wounds with a tender hand. “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom,” expresses Marcel Prust, a French novelist.

In our youth, affiliations extended beyond catching up; it was hours of emotional commitment. When work and family commitments took precedence, connections with friends took a backseat for us. The development in technology ensured easier and expedient connectedness. Face-to-face conversations gave way to calls, emails, and text messages. Pandemic shifted it further away as social isolation is the norm now. Ironically this forced denial has made us appreciate the importance of physical interactions. We realised the gravity of human contact, the company of friends, joyful conversations, and a warm hug over material things. Socialising online during the pandemic is a lifesaver as it is difficult to imagine a life without the technology in such a crisis. 

To rekindle relationships, tenderly re-enter and step cautiously by being an energy enhancer in a conversation. Sometimes friendships stall and do not blossom as we fear no one will want to hear from us. We need to quieten our inner critic as friends look forward to interactions. What strengthens the bond is to invest our time, regularly checking on their welfare, remembering their birthdays and anniversaries. The intimacy, equality, and emotional bond are unique amongst friends, a lifelong endeavour to nurture regularly. Sometimes, we want a friend to be there, not to fix anything, but as an antidote to the emotional burdens of life.

We can forge camaraderie at any stage and cycle through several longstanding bonds. The nature of friendship may change, but real friends will support you forever no matter the circumstance, ignoring your flaws and celebrating your achievements. We share a deeper connection and similar core values. Friends boost our self-esteem and are often less demanding, a necessity in covid times.

Science has proven that friends are the antidote for stress and illnesses, at times better medicine. We all value a walk with a friend that keeps us healthy and happy. Strong bonds boost the immune system and increase longevity. The people living in Japan, part of the Blue Zone, have a high life expectancy. They have a social network called a Moai. A moai is a group of five friends who offer social, emotional, and financial support for a lifetime. Friends make us stronger. They are forever, no matter what.

We have spent so much time in isolation, numbed our senses, and we have forgotten being around people. Previously stable people have stormed outside WhatsApp groups, not able to tolerate minor squabbles. We will have to learn to walk again on the path of good old days to cherish the richness of meeting our friends in person. We do hope human connections will return, limping from the pandemic.

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow

Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead

Walk beside me… just be my friend” expressed Albert Camus, the French novelist. 

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