BE ALL EARS……….

You reach out to your friend and talk about your job problem, and she starts talking about something entirely different. Does this sound familiar? Do you ever feel that the person is preoccupied?  Effective communication begins with listening with a clear intention. When you feel distant or distracted, take a deep breath and redirect your attention. When you are mindful, you hone your listening abilities. 

We are lost in our digital bubbles and have no time for others, even when we make an effort, a constant distraction from technology takes over, and we miss out on good associations. When a person share one’s thoughts, he is giving a piece of you but we do not have the time to sit and talk, tell stories. Listening carefully and purposefully without  interrupting the other person is the need of the hour as the high tech communication has made interactions intrusive, taken the helm over by text messages and emojis. 

If someone wants to remove their stumbling blocks or share their accomplishments, feel fortunate and give them a patient ear. An avid listener is a guiding force, a sounding board, and a therapist for a friend. To take it further, gently ask questions while hanging on to the person’s words and giving undivided attention. When we lend an ear, we pave an inroad to non-verbal communication, an effective gateway to understanding. Never hijack the conversation, enter their world, and be compassionate and genuinely interested in the person by attempting to understand the point of view of the other person. Listening is more important than talking as we have two ears and one mouth. 

Have you ever visited old people living by themselves and see how  eagerly they are looking for someone to listen to them?  It is not only them we all love the vibes of a good conversation and a desire to be understood. When you listen profoundly with curiosity, it makes a conversation delightful. When you strive to be in the moment and not drift away in contemplation, it reinforces your ability to be in the spirit of receptivity. The moment you pay attention, the speaker will soften and connect better. The body language,  facial expressions,  eye contact, and verbal responses encourage or discourage the speaker. An atmosphere without interruptions is effective for communication and understanding. 

Like any other skill, practice will make us perfect, and we learn along the way, increasing our understanding of the world around us. Lack of it is making us intolerant and isolated so we need to put aside our ego and really listen. Non-defensive attitude, whether you agree with the speaker’s point of view or not, will take the dialogue further. Be mindful while talking, well aware of the purpose, and concerned about the listener’s capability and interest to make the conversation delightful. It is the art of being a good human who has a genuine interest in the other person. 

Communication experts believe that one needs to engage in a dialogue, not a monologue. Be clear about what you want from the conversation and do keep in mind the interest of the listener. Empathy and compassion are handy tools when we are on either side of the conversation.

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